The Bucket List

So...I took a bit of time on this lovely long holiday weekend to watch a movie. It was the Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman---and it made me think about what I might put on my bucket list, i.e. things that you want to accomplish before you kick the bucket. I realize that in part, that I've stopped some of my own dreaming and have replaced it with goals/wishes for my child. I suppose that it is natural for parents to refocus their energies elsewhere, but it is also a bit sad to lose so much of one's personal self.

I'm acutely aware of other's dreams as I read blogs of families who are hopefully waiting for their travel dates...that certainly would have consumed much of my bucket list years ago! But...where to focus now? Hummmmmmmmm....... what are others out there planning/wishing for??

Relationships that allow you to grow.

July 2004---10 mos. old

One of my most poignant memories after arriving home with TB four years ago was her reluctance to be out of my arms for even the briefest moment. She was 10 mos old, had a significant illness going on, and everything was so new. She was my little barnacle. As much as I had dreamed of that time....jet lag, tears, adjustments, puke, uncertainties, but a bit of a cloud on our doorstep for hours each day. She was scared, I was tired, and then....on day number 7, my golden retriever (Holly) began to cast her spell on this overwhelmed little peanut. Holly brought her pacifier toy over to TB, offered it so unselfishly (as only a golden retriever can do..) and the bond was formed.

Tea Party, TB age 4-1/2 and Holly at 11

Inquiring Minds...They Want to Know!!!

As many parents of internationally adoptive kids can probably attest to.....after a while, you really just aren't aware any more that your adoptive child looks different than you...they are your child, beautiful, and feel like your own. It's because of my comfort with my daughter that I can be so caught off-guard when people question me re: her heritage, parentage, or whatever else that they might be curious about. Those questions didn't bother me a couple of years ago...I was still so caught up in what I had managed to accomplish (hoops, "the wait", travel, red tape, etc.) and I was pleased to share all the gore. Now...I can see those inquiring gazes travel our way, and I really try to divert the directness of questions with "why do you ask?" Problem is, I'm just NO GOOD at it, and I'm afraid that one of these days, TB feeling are gonna get stomped on. I'd like learn to be a better parent, and be better equipped at handling the questions/comments that come our way.