Truly Feeling Like a Member of the Sandwich Generation

Visiting my 83 year old mother in a rehab facility, maintaining two homes, caring for a 5 year old with the flu, walking my dog, feeding my mom's cat, running child to gymnastics/swim/ice skating, running mom to dr. appts., working, cleaning houses, taking daughter to fellow kindergartener bday parties, being thankful that mom was here for another year with us.... oh....I'm tired!!! I'm sure that the possibility of this must have crossed my mind years ago---caring for two people on opposite ends of the age spectrum----but the reality is that I'm faced with multiple emotions of frustration, overwhelmedness, love, happiness, fear, sadness, etc. Just trying to stay present in the moment, because I'm sure that at some point, I'll be devastated that I wasn't able to do it for longer....

Thankful

As we prepare to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday tomorrow with our family, I am so thankful for the many joys that TB brings to my life....she is a smart, funny, head strong, clever, and engaging child that has captured the imagination and love of so many...and I am blessed to be her mom! How amazing is that??

So...thank you to TB (who spent this morning chasing snowflakes with her tongue) for gracing me with your love and vitality...

Love, mom

Oh What a Month We've Had!

Sorry that I haven't posted in so long....had trouble uploading pictures for a bit, and we have been so busy!

September and October were really crazy! We celebrated TBs 5th Birthday (and what a wonderful day it was), took a trip to Denver to enjoy the Rockies (while I attended a conference for work), and enjoyed the fall fun with apple picking and Halloween.

All of this was interspersed among many adjustments to Kindergarten. The first 5 weeks were pretty rough...TB was missing her pals/teachers from preschool and learning the new social rules of a new peer group...OH BOY! I'm amazed at the attitude of 5 year old girls on the playground...where do they learn to be so persnickety and cruel? There were many tears, tummy aches, and disagreements while the adjustments happened....but I'm happy to say that I think that we're now over the worst of it (I HOPE!)

I've uploaded some of the pics that I took over the past weeks...she is growing up so quickly...I miss my baby!

Birthday DayApple Picking

Colorado Sunshine

Elk Herds and Bugling


Halloween Cowgirl

(not 1st choice for outfit, but butterflies can't wear coats!)

Playing in the Leaves

An Auspicious Day

Well....the long awaited day finally arrived. And, it was "so fun", to quote TB. The favorite part was certainly the bus ride, "cuz you don't have to wear seatbelts." OH MY!!

We still have 1/2 day kindergarten at her school, so she is spending the afternoon at a large childcare center, which is also new to our family. An interesting challenge is becoming obvious...with so many new experiences....she can't remember ANYTHING! :) Or where anything might have happened.

The Bucket List

So...I took a bit of time on this lovely long holiday weekend to watch a movie. It was the Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman---and it made me think about what I might put on my bucket list, i.e. things that you want to accomplish before you kick the bucket. I realize that in part, that I've stopped some of my own dreaming and have replaced it with goals/wishes for my child. I suppose that it is natural for parents to refocus their energies elsewhere, but it is also a bit sad to lose so much of one's personal self.

I'm acutely aware of other's dreams as I read blogs of families who are hopefully waiting for their travel dates...that certainly would have consumed much of my bucket list years ago! But...where to focus now? Hummmmmmmmm....... what are others out there planning/wishing for??

Relationships that allow you to grow.

July 2004---10 mos. old

One of my most poignant memories after arriving home with TB four years ago was her reluctance to be out of my arms for even the briefest moment. She was 10 mos old, had a significant illness going on, and everything was so new. She was my little barnacle. As much as I had dreamed of that time....jet lag, tears, adjustments, puke, uncertainties, but a bit of a cloud on our doorstep for hours each day. She was scared, I was tired, and then....on day number 7, my golden retriever (Holly) began to cast her spell on this overwhelmed little peanut. Holly brought her pacifier toy over to TB, offered it so unselfishly (as only a golden retriever can do..) and the bond was formed.

Tea Party, TB age 4-1/2 and Holly at 11

Inquiring Minds...They Want to Know!!!

As many parents of internationally adoptive kids can probably attest to.....after a while, you really just aren't aware any more that your adoptive child looks different than you...they are your child, beautiful, and feel like your own. It's because of my comfort with my daughter that I can be so caught off-guard when people question me re: her heritage, parentage, or whatever else that they might be curious about. Those questions didn't bother me a couple of years ago...I was still so caught up in what I had managed to accomplish (hoops, "the wait", travel, red tape, etc.) and I was pleased to share all the gore. Now...I can see those inquiring gazes travel our way, and I really try to divert the directness of questions with "why do you ask?" Problem is, I'm just NO GOOD at it, and I'm afraid that one of these days, TB feeling are gonna get stomped on. I'd like learn to be a better parent, and be better equipped at handling the questions/comments that come our way.